August 09, 2003

Bats in the belfry.My porch

Bats in the belfry.My porch is the same as it ever
was, I'm afraid, with the possible exception that it's more "organic",
in the sense of nature encroaching, slowly but inexorably, on it -
which I guess is another way of saying that it's dirty and has dead
leaves, etc, on it - not to mention the bat shit! That's right: bats
have taken to roosting in the nooks where the porch roof meets the roof
of the house, which is fine by me except that, bats being nocturnal,
they spend the day sleeping and defecating, the results of the latter
ending up falling on whatever lurks beneath. As a matter of fact, there
is only one small area which is batshit free, and that's where I have
my chair, right next to the front door. I actually moved my chair on
various occasions to avoid the, um, showers, and settled on its present
location as it was the only dry spot. Until one day I felt the telltale
sensation of something small and dry falling on my head - actually, I
think it may have gone down my back... So what was I going to do? The
house, and thus the porch, is over 40 feet long, and I'd given the bats
the run of the porch, with the exception of 5 feet or so around my
chair - was I to lose this, too? Should I buy a golf umbrella? I'd be
lying if I said I wasn't somewhat incensed at being shat on, so I'm
afraid I took the most direct approach and decided on eviction. I was
lucky - normally you can't see the little beggars, as they get right up
into the crack where the roofs join, but this particular culprit had
chosen to nestle in plain sight, up against one of the log beams. So I
got a broom and started poking at him with the handle, which he was
none too pleased about. However, after much protestation and baring of
tiny yet lethal - under the appropriate circumstances, i.e. to bugs -
I'm relieved to report that he abandoned his roost and flew off across
the yard. Never to return. At least, not yet...

Posted by dettifoss at August 9, 2003 11:06 AM