March 03, 2004

Wouldn't it be nice... ...if

Wouldn't it be nice...

...if everything could be softer and more comfortable?So
I'm sitting in the barbershop last night, and they have ABC News on the
TV. Up comes this commercial, and it's this sort of cartoonized woman,
sitting on a park bench. The forms of the image suggest it was based on
real film/whatever, and then treated to look all brushstroked, a little
bit arty, all in nice pastel blues and yellows. I guess she looks a
little uncomfortable on the bench, but that's OK, cos suddenly it
morphs, first into a big cushy armchair, and then the whole hog into
big, plush couch, which she leans back into and swivels to recline on.
The voiceover comes in and says "Wouldn't it be nice if everything
could be softer and more comfortable? Well, with Dulcolax, it can!"
Now, I'm sort of half tuned-out, and I freely admit I'm not overly
familiar with the world of marketing, so I'm thinking oh, it must be an
ad for fabric conditioner or something - it looks just like that, whith
the fresh outdoors, the pastel colors, butterflies, birds, etc. I'm
thinking about how soft the fabric of the couch would be to the touch,
the fresh scent, and so on. Then the voice starts talking about hard
stools, and how Dulcolax, unlike traditional laxatives, softens them to
make them more comfortable to pass. So they're talking about this
woman's shit! They're talking about how she's got a smelly brick up her
ass, and how their product is gonna kind of knead it, or something, to
make it softer and more gentle. So when she next squeezes one out,
presumably, it'll feel like reclining on a big, plush couch in the
great outdoors, surrounded by butterflies and birds, all in soothing,
pastel colors.
I love the way these people are so frank about these things. I guess
this kind of shock is what I get for a) not watching network TV and, b)
TiVOing past the commercials. I wish - sometimes - I could set my TiVO
to *only* record commercials. That certainly would provide some
welcome, um, relief to the tedium of the programming :-)

Posted by dettifoss at March 3, 2004 01:18 PM