The Apostolic Lighthouse.Each day on my way between
home and the office I pass by a local church, known as the Apostolic
Lighthouse. From what I can tell, it's one of those churches where they
do a lot of clapping and singing - not somewhere the Pope would really
feel at home.
Anyway, they have one of those big, lit-up notice boards with movable
letters at the side of the road, which they use to broadcast pearls of
wisdom to the world at large. A recent message was "THE BEST VITIMAN
(sic) FOR A CHRISTIAN IS B-1" It's a pun. A-ha-ha-ha. They used to be
much more zealous about their messages, changing them frequently and
sometimes even adapting them to the mood of the day, but then some
clever pranksters started moving the letters around and making cheeky
anagrams, like "LET US FUCK YOUR ASS" or "GOD HATES YOU".
Initially, the Lighthousers weren't to be cowed. Indeed, one very
ominous message appeared shortly after a bout of anagramming: "GOD
WATCHES YOU AND SEES WHAT YOU DO".
I don't know if this scared the pranksters off, or whether, perhaps, He
smote them, but the whole spate of incidents, short-lived as it was,
seems to have left its scars on all the protagonists, and the initial
zeal of the Lighthouse to educate, entertain and annoy through its
notice board has never returned.
On the other hand, right now it says they're offering "HEAD SERVICE"
this Sunday, so maybe I'll stop in and give it a try.
Well, friggit!I just wrote this great big, carefully
crafted, rather intricately wordsmithed historic first entry to my
first ever weblog, and when I hit the "publish" button I get bleeding
VBScript errors! I might have known Microsoft would stick their
collective face in here and prevent me from doing what I needed to do
(after all, isn't that what they do best?).
More about them later...
For now, this is My Squelchy Life. I like that title, though it's not
my own idea. It's the title of a Brian Eno track from his album "Nerve
Net".
Now, Mr. Gates and Co., may I please publish this crap???